Autumn - 1940 (15th year of Showa Emperor)
Asakusa, Tokyo
Police Headquarters
Office of Public Security
Censorship Section
"Autumn Flotsam"
Not Approved
UNIVERSITY OF LAUGHS
Not Approved
University of Laughs Theater Group
The University of Laughs Theater
Asakusa theater district
Interrogation Room
"Hope" theater group.
Here.
"They kiss. "
Marked for Deletion
Approved
"Comrades win their freedom. "
It's vital to the play!
Marked for Deletion
A plague on you all!
Not Approved
Next.
Approved
Not Approved
Approved
"... destroys the Imperial Capital. "
"King Kong In Japan"
Not Approved "King Kong In Japan"
One left.
Next.
Here.
The First Day
University of Laughs Troupe.
I've heard of it.
Oh, really?
It must be famous then.
I never watch that kind of thing.
I'm Sakisaka. The new censor, here.
I'm Tsubaki.
I was posted from overseas to supervise cultural policy.
Excuse me.
Your leader is...
What's-is-name Rokuha.
Furukawa, Roppa.
That's it. A very active gentleman.
My wife watches his moving pictures.
He's with the "Kingdom of Laughs".
We're the "University of Laughs".
Is that different?
Completely.
Such similar names.
We did come first.
But they're more famous. I hate to say.
And your leader?
"Blue Sky" Kanta.
Never heard of him.
A grass-roots kind of actor. He's been in movies, too.
"Please, ex-squeeze me. "
What?
It's his trademark phrase.
You don't know it.
- Once more. - No.
Please do.
It's embarrassing.
"Please, ex-squeeze me. "
You're under contract?
Yes, in-house.
In-house?
In-house playwright. Under contract, that is.
Are you nervous?
Pardon me.
It's not your first time, right?
I never get used to this atmosphere.
Relax, please. We rarely use torture.
Pardon me.
Let's not waste time. I'll start.
Please do.
One thing... please...
A small token.
Toasted bean cakes.
Eat them while they're hot.
Tsubaki-san. Such behavior will stop.
It's offensive.
It's only bean cake.
My predecessor let it slip, but I'm a man of different cloth.
Don't get me wrong. They just looked tasty.
Don't try to curry favor.
I absolutely wasn't.
I've no interest in your work, whatsoever,
nor once partaken of this comedy nonsense.
I was shocked to be posted here.
Why me, to deal with the likes of you?
I was told I was the perfect candidate for censor.
An emotional person couldn't do the job.
Being frank, I think the censorship system
is totally unnecessary.
Ban everything! Lock, stock and barrel!
Citizens should unite during this crisis.
What use comedy and gaiety?
That's my opinion.
Do I make myself clear?
There is that viewpoint.
This must not be repeated.
I'm very sorry.
It appears I'm your worst nightmare come true.
Where are they from?
Kaminari bakery.
A very good choice.
I'll take them back.
Still warm.
I just bought them.
Mother likes that bakery.
In that case. Feel free.
Leave them. I may avail myself.
I understand.
You're thinking...
"He's going to take them, after all. "
I wasn't.
- It's all over your face. - It isn't.
- It certainly is. - Damn.
Be honest.
Just a little.
I'll take them.
I wish I'd never bought them.
- Leave them. - I' take them.
I said leave them!
"What a bastard," you're thinking.
I am not.
Be honest.
I am.
It's fine by me.
I am indeed.
You wrote all this?
- Thought of all the lines? - That's right.
A remarkable talent.
As a layman, I've no idea but
how long to write this?
About two days in all.
Two days?
A lot of thought goes into it.
Two days for this. Remarkable.
Weeks of preparation.
You're proud of it?
I wonder. In parts, perhaps.
It seemed that way.
I believe it's funny.
I read it three times yesterday
then pondered overnight whether to permit it.
Might I ask your opinion?
Will it pass or not?
I'd be most happy if it did.
Please observe.
As you know, we censors read the scripts
and red-flag problem areas.
The more flags, the less chance of approval.
In your script there's not one flag.
So, it seems.
Not one.
- Which means... - No problems?
The very opposite!
Too many problems!
So many flags I quit halfway through.
I'll cut to the chase. This script is impermissible.
What's wrong with it?
Let me ask you. Did this sort of thing pass before?
My predecessor approved it?
With a few corrections.
Dereliction of duty.
Where's the worst part? I'll soon fix it.
I brought paper.
Did you hear me?
It's all bad. Beyond the pale.
All?
Beyond 'fixing'.
But...
For a start, the cast are Westerners.
But that's...
On the 2600th anniversary of Emperor Jinmu's accession...
why on earth a barbarian love story?
It's imprudent to say the least.
But "Enoken"...
he's a famous comedian... he just did Hamlet.
Because I wasn't in charge.
I cannot approve this.
And what's this?
This title.
Is it a problem?
"The Tragedy of Juleo and Romiet". What's that?
"What's that?"... it's...
Is "Juleo and Romiet" correct?
Yes.
There was an English writer
by the name, "William Shakespeare".
This Shakespeare wrote something called "Romeo and Juliet".
Did you know?
I knew.
Too close for coincidence... Romeo and Juliet... Juleo and Romiet.
What can it mean?
It's what we ca a "pun".
"Pun"?
A play on words.
I wanted a gag in the title.
- A "gag". - Yes.
- Hence, Juleo and Romiet? - Yes.
It's not funny, though.
It's a common technique.
Swapping the first syllables. For instance...
"Friar Tuck" becomes "Triar Fuck".
Is that funny?
- It's a bad example. - Do they laugh?
Maybe a different one.
"Friar Tuck"
"Friar Tuck" and...
No, just forget it.
Anyway, it's a parody style
we use all the time.
I can't follow the sense oft.
Nonetheless, a Westerner's work is impermissible in these times.
Romeo and Juliet were Italians.
We just signed a treaty with Italy. They're our allies.
Nice try.
Where's the harm in that?
Okay then. Shakespeare's nationality?
He was English.
Do you agree that Britain is our enemy?
Well, yes.
Let us imagine Churchill making sushi.
Sushi?
No matter how uniquely Japanese a food
if it were made by the British Prime Minister
not a single citizen would put it to his lips, right?
Could you eat Churchill's sushi?
No, I couldn't.
That's my point.
Because Churchill would be terrible at it.
I wouldn't eat Mr. Hitler's sushi. Either.
- Pedant. - You or me?
Anyway, it can't be approved.
Another thing. I think this play...
is poorly done.
I didn't laugh once.
It's comedy, correct?
A manifest failure.
Why is "Ex-squeeze me" everywhere?
My boss's stock phrase. Folks love it.
I don't get it.
Not Approved
- I won't beg but... - Try.
I wrote it for the stage.
The humor won't convey unless performed.
It's for actors to say out loud.
Do it, then.
If that’s true, read it out.
You mean, me?
Make me laugh.
If I read...
I might glimpse the humor. Please, make me laugh.
If you do, you'll rethink?
If I do.
"Dear Juleo. "
One thing before I begin.
Maybe you noticed it's a play-within-a-play.
I noticed.
A fictitious theater group
puts on "Juleo and Romiet".
Enough commentary.
In front of Romiet's villa...
Stage directions.
Above, a balcony.
Just the lines, please.
Romiet appears:
"Dear Juleo. How can I ever forget you?"
It's not funny yet. This is the build-up.
Continue.
"Juleo, wherefore art thou, Juleo?"
A famous line from the original.
Too much commentary.
I'll continue.
Suddenly, a priest arrives.
"How terrible. Romiet is dead!"
"What do you mean, Father. I'm still here!"
"What?"
Out jumps the director:
"Father, you're too early. You're not until the second act. "
"Oh, do ex-squeeze me!"
There it is.
Right there. A big laugh.
There?
A big gag.
I don't get it.
Even though Romiet's still alive
the Priest, my boss, comes on.
Why?
"Why?" Because it's funny.
How?
"How?" Because
he discovers Romiet's body in act two.
His entrance while Romiet lives throws the whole thing into turmoil.
It's a 'happening'.
But it's already in the script.
Of course.
Isn't it rather artificial?
It's artificial but it won't seem so with good actors.
How can "ex-squeeze me" not seem artificial?
Point taken. Let's move on.
"Dear Juleo. "
That's enough.
See how funny it is?
It's utterly beyond approval.
Sakisaka-san...
In good conscience, not as censor but as human being.
Please wait.
Sorry but I can't fathom anyone laughing at this.
There's no atmosphere here.
With an audience there'll be mayhem.
In any case, no approval as is.
Understood.
Sorry to bother you.
One moment.
What will you do?
Go consult my boss.
Consult?
We've no time. If this is out we must find another play.
Tsubaki-san.
You don't listen, do you?
What do you mean?
I just said there'd be no approval, as is.
You're a writer. Read between the lines.
Meaning...
I said "as is".
If corrected, maybe there's hope.
Don't you see?
Thank you so much.
I'm not trying to close you down.
How and where to correct it?
Two main requests.
Set it in Japan. Make the cast Japanese.
Then I’ll approve it.
Impossible.
Why?
The word-play becomes meaningless.
That's your problem.
Please understand, parody has its own rules.
A rewrite or another play.
Any other script must be submitted.
Even if passed before don't assume it will now.
What's it to be?
I' rewrite it.
I look forward to it.
By when?
Tomorrow.
Wait a minute.
If you can't; forget it.
It's persecution.
I'm not here just for you.
Many other awful theater groups are waiting.
A day's rewrite is unrealistic.
You wrote it in two. One should be plenty.
Bring the Japanese rewrite tomorrow.
I' decide at that time.
Thank you for today. That is al.
You may leave.
The Second Day
You worked all night?
I napped at daybreak.
Are you alright?
Don't worry. I'm used to it.
Good.
I'm still reading.
Please, sit.
Excuse me.
This is hopeless.
Hey, wait a minute.
This is banned.
What's wrong with it?
I worked a I night. At least tell me why.
This isn't yours.
I told you, I do have other scripts.
I took time to read yours earlier.
Thank you very much.
What do you think? You're confident?
I think I did what you asked.
It's changed for sure.
We I done for changing so much, so quickly.
I would've done more with time.
I'm impressed.
Might we get approval?
May I take another look?
Please.
Yesterday's issues should've been addressed.
It's now set in Japan. They're a I Japanese.
That much is true.
It'd be a big help to get approval today.
I'm sure. With rehearsals and all.
When's your first night?
Beginning of next month.
Two weeks. Can you make it?
If approved today.
I was surprised to see Kanichi and Omiya.
You did your homework.
I tried many ways to set Romeo and Juliet in Japan.
Then I hit on the Meiji melodrama, "Golden Demon".
Parody is best based on a famous work.
It must've been a relief?
Of course.
Who'd think of Friar Laurence as a Buddhist priest...
I think that works. It's funny, right?
Not at all.
Humor is a persona thing.
But a writer's mind is certainly fruitful.
Actually, I must thank you.
What for?
A Japanese setting is perhaps funnier.
The play-within-a-play works better.
How do you mean?
It's about the two layers.
You laugh at the play
and at the chaos backstage adapting it for Japan.
The comedy's much stronger.
I wouldn't have thought of it without you.
Honored to be of service.
Approved for performance?
Not like this, no.
The reason being?
The Japanese setting seems forced.
The cast is from the Meiji classic but the action hasn't changed.
She takes poison, he commits harakiri. That's not in the original.
And that's what's funny.
I don't understand.
The director's at wit's end trying to adapt it.
I can see that.
Look at this part.
The director addresses the audience.
Second page.
"Am the director of this piece. "
May I?
Please.
"On the 2600th anniversary of Emperor Jinmu's accession,
"our stupid playwright created
"an awful barbarian love story.
"So I boldly took up my pen
"and wrought this tragic drama of love. "
He sticks his oar in, sets it in Japan.
So the forced elements are natural and they're funny.
I see.
Forced is good.
A most arrogant director.
There aren't many like this.
Is it me?
This man is me.
Heavens, no.
Several things I said mysteriously reappear.
Page three.
"If Churchill made noodles, would you eat them?"
You've switched "sushi". Otherwise they're my words.
Could you tell?
"Tell"? I knew straight away.
Are you making fun of me?
Not at al. It's a very good line.
Okay, I’ll rewrite it.
Keep it as it is.
- I'll rewrite it. - It's fine.
- But... - It's fine!
Right, I’ll leave as is.
"Noodles" is weak. Please replace "sushi".
I understand.
It makes the director's point.
I’ll replace it.
Don't worry, it's much better.
Does the audience allow these cheap jokes?
They come to laugh. If it’s funny, anything goes.
It's beyond me.
I fixed it.
This should be "sushi", too.
I actually preferred "sushi"
but wasn't sure how you'd take it.
"Noodles" doesn't hit the spot.
It needs Churchill squeezing that rice.
I fixed it.
Good.
Official approval?
They're all waiting. I implore you.
There's more.
Where?
I can't approve it.
But I fixed everything you said.
One more request.
You never mentioned it yesterday.
Your head was already full so I kept quiet.
But...
I was being considerate.
What more must I do?
Please include "For the sake of my nation".
- "The sake of my nation"? - Correct.
Give me a break.
I beg your pardon?
There's no place for that.
I'd like there to be.
Where? Who says it?
I'm not the writer. That's your job.
Impossible.
Then let's double it. "The nation's sake, the nation's sake. "
Where will it fit in the story?
Change the story to make it fit.
But...
A story to stir people's spirits would be to my liking.
This is a comedy.
We do it to make folks laugh.
It appears you still don't get it.
We've no need for plays just to make people laugh.
Let's repeat it three times.
"The nation's sake, the nation's sake, the nation's sake. "
I'll think about it.
I'll be here same time tomorrow.
Excuse me.
The Third Day
Place of birth?
Small talk.
In Morioka.
A nice place.
Famous for noodles.
Very tasty.
All-you-can-eat.
That's right.
How many bowls can you eat? A thousand?
I'm not sure about that.
Let's begin.
Sorry. I'm no good at small talk.
Not at all.
I read your play.
Are we in the ball-park?
About the new line.
It's in there. I gave it to Kanichi.
It's definitely in there.
- Three times. - Most strident.
Be so kind as to read. Page thirty-three.
Kanichi's speech. Two lines from the top.
Please.
Kanichi:
"Darling, I go to fight for the sake of my nation.
"I don't mind dying, for the sake of my nation.
"For my nation's sake, my soul soars off to battle. "
Too over-the-top?
Over-the-top is good.
Enter a young geisha.
"Dear Kanichi. "
"Ah, here's Miss Neyshan. "
People will take his love of ‘nation' to mean this geisha.
Correct.
Is this on purpose?
Yes.
This is your intent?
That's right.
I set it up with "sake of my nation. "
When Miss Neyshan turns up they' go nuts.
You don't seem to understand. I'm not aiming at laughs.
But if we can score them as well...
My request didn't mean bring out "Miss Neyshan".
I refer to our Great Japanese Empire.
I understand that.
Men die for our nation. Who the hell is Miss Neyshan!?
It's abominable.
I' rewrite it.
- Rewrite it. - I'll rewrite it.
Rewrite it now.
I just can't understand you.
My pen got carried away.
You knew I'd hate it, so why did you write it?
It's my nature. I can't help going for the laugh.
Who is this woman, anyway?
She's only in this scene.
She's Kanichi's other lover.
It's not my place to say, perhaps
but it's very slipshod plotting.
That's fine.
I put her in just to get a laugh.
You treat human life very lightly.
It's theater. That's how it is.
Shouldn't you depict real people?
Some theater's like that. We do comedy.
I don't understand.
For humanity, you go see drama. Our punters want laughs.
I'll soon fix it.
You always liked writing?
I wanted to be an artist.
I started painting backdrops.
Backdrops?
Background scenery and stuff.
Before I knew it, I was doing this.
You found your vocation.
Right.
Is theater that interesting?
Very interesting.
Until last month, I was supervising workers abroad.
Where?
Occupied China. Suppressing Anti-Japanese thought.
A very difficult job.
For me, this is harder.
I never imagined I'd censor theater.
Let alone this low-brow stuff.
I'm told I'm not receptive to comedy.
That can't be true.
Everyone says so.
I've no grasp of how to make people aught.
Don't you make jokes?
I haven't yet.
Witty comments?
I don't have any.
Making people laugh, doesn't interest me.
To each his own.
Is laughter really that important?
I think so.
I've never really laughed but I've got this far in life.
We're chalk and cheese, you and I.
I'm done.
Let's see.
Kanichi: "I go to fight for the sake of my nation.
"I don't mind dying, for the sake of my nation. "
Kanichi's mother appears.
Mother: "Supper's ready.
"I made your favorite. Something special from the butcher. "
Kanichi:
"I don't mind dying for the steak of my nation. "
Don't tell me...
Yes.
You changed "sake" for "steak"?
That's correct. Sorry.
You make light of the fact...
he'll die, not for his nation's sake, but "steak"?
Yes.
Is that it?
Yes.
That's not what I meant!
I understand. I do but...
If you do, why write this?
I can't help myself.
I admire your productivity under time limits.
- But why, if it’s certain rejection? - Forgive me.
You're a strange man.
I'I go think about it.
A good idea.
Anything else I should know?
Fix that then we move to the next.
It can't take forever. We've no rehearsal time, as is.
That's your problem.
Can't I hear them all?
End of conversation.
Please.
The actors are all over me wanting to know.
No concern of mine.
Excuse me.
Tsubaki-sensei.
Please address that other thing.
Kindly omit scenes injurious to public morals.
Which scenes are they?
Kissing.
"Golden Demon" is a love story. It must have kisses.
If you’re set on this play please remove the kisses.
How about a peck on the cheek?
No good.
What if it’s sweet?
No good.
I'll make it chaste.
I don't care.
Please, a peck on the cheek.
I said no.
The forehead, then?
Just one little kiss, please?
Tsubaki-san,
please don't invite misunderstanding.
No matter where placed, I cannot approve kissing.
A love story without kisses...
Tomorrow, then...
for the steak...
Steak...
The Fourth Day
Kanichi:
"Darling, I go to fight for the sake of my nation.
"I don't mind dying, for the sake of my nation.
"For the sake of my nation... "
Continue.
Sorry, but I had to do it.
Continue. Anyway.
Omiya opens her mouth as if to vomit.
Kanichi: "For the sick of our nation. "
It stinks.
It does indeed.
If it’s that bad, why write it?
This isn't a school for bad writers.
Frankly, I can't handle this one after another.
What's the point of sick"?
"Sick" and "sake" don't even rhyme.
I know... it's terrible.
It's less and less funny.
I much preferred steak.
Did that please you?
Given the choice, I'd rather it be steak.
I'll change it back.
I didn't mean that. I meant if I had to compare.
I'll fix it.
Steak...
You're a curious man.
It's back to steak.
It's far superior to sick.
I think so, too.
It's not just comedy; it's a mother's wish to pamper her son.
Anywhere else?
I believe I already asked about the kissing.
The lovers stare at one another.
He embraces her. Their lips meet.
Their lips meet?
Please read on.
At that moment, enter a drunkard.
"It's a right for some. " The lovers separate.
Whenever they try to kiss someone gets in the way.
It says their lips meet.
At the point of no return, they're interrupted.
That's the gag.
To the contrary, they mustn't kiss.
If they do, it's not funny.
The comedy lies in them a most being able.
You gave it a lot of thought.
It helps the script.
Thanks to your advice, it's getting better.
Honored to be of service.
Anything else to fix?
Not from my side.
Which means...
From my side.
Meaning what?
A request from the Chief of Police.
Wait a minute...
I shall pass it on.
He'd like a policeman to appear.
A policeman?
Preferably a good part, a scene stealer.
I can't write more roles...
The Chief's wish...
No way. It changes the story.
Make his name "Ogawara". Please.
It's his real name.
He' bring his family first night. He's very excited.
But...
Thank you for your hard work.
University of Laughs Theater
Starring "Blue Sky" Kanta
"Ishikawa Master Thief"
Writer: Tsubaki, Hajime